i keep the door unlocked
because she could stop by
but why?
why do i care
or stare
at the wall and the screen?
an ephemeral glimpse of a dream
a clandestine crush
your face a rush
of blood in my brain
i see the weight of the pain
but i am beyond the tears
the fears,
the doubts, the leers, on account
of the love of my friends
and myself
so leave me on the old bookshelf
as i so leave you, too, i rue
the day you came into my eye
everytime i think i die
but soon i’ll fly
free
and above the clouds i’ll see
the glimmer of light and power,
the shower, of love,
i have it,
within
And i‘m not giving it to you anymore
because i feel the shore
draws near, again
to my end
of growth
i awoke
inside my sin
of leaving the door unlocked
within
and without,
so the reaper will come in and shout:
“wake up you stupid fuck!
this dream is shit!”
from it i wish
to find my peace
never to see my heart so in pieces.
until the next “she” awakens my fears,
perhaps then wasted years,
perhaps i’ll have a few more beers;
to steer away from all this woe
there is no place i will not go.
so fucking fight me now, OK?
Today I love me. Today.